We didn't post the novel, we just swapped the pronouns and names for selected scenes.
"Mikuru-kun, from now on you are to wear this costume every time you come for club activities!"
"How could you..."
Asahina-san tried his best to express refusal, but Haruhi grabbed him and caressed his face endlessly.
"Who asked you to be so cute? Man, even a guy like me can't resist doing this to you now!"
Asahina-san screamed and tried to escape, but to no avail, being at the mercy of Haruhi's molesting hands.
Damn, Haruhi, I'm so jealous of you. No, wait, how can I even think like that!? I should be trying to save him!
"All right, I think it's time for you to stop now!"
I tried to pull Haruhi away from his sexual harassment of Asahina-san, but he just wouldn't let go.
"That's enough, stop it already!"
"Does it matter? Why don't you join in as well?"
Not a bad idea actually, but seeing Asahina-san's face going white, I naturally said nothing.
"Whoa, what's going on here?"
Turning around, I saw Koizumi Itsuko standing at the entrance with her bag.
She looked amusedly first at Haruhi, whose hands were moving into Asahina-san's pants; then at me, who was trying to stop Haruhi's madness; then to Asahina-san in a butler costume, trembling nonstop; and finally to Nagato, who remained unfazed, peacefully reading his book even without his glasses.
"Is this some sort of club activity?"
"Koizumi, you came at just the right time! Let's play with Asahina-san!"
What on earth are you talking about!?
Koizumi only grinned. Please, if you actually agree with Haruhi's suggestions, then you've got some serious issues.
"No thanks, seems pretty scary to me."
Koizumi placed her bag on the table and unfolded one of the chairs by the wall.
"Mind if I just sit and watch?"