Soul Society is only HELLISHLY UNBEARABLE for 5%. It's still shitty for almost everyone-- they'll never see their families again, and no effort is made to reunite them. They're even split up on purpose sometimes (only double suicides get to stay together). There's nothing to look forward to and no way to improve your situation, unless you have spirit power.
Even if you do have it, you might not be good enough to become a shinigami. Even if you're good enough to become a shinigami, you might not be good enough to join the Gotei 13. And even if you're good enough for that, it doesn't exactly mean your life will be any fun.
Back to Hanataro, for example's sake: he's a seated officer in the Gotei 13, which puts his status above 99% of everyone else in Soul Society.
And, hey, what do you know? His life is still pretty fucking shitty.