I considered a fanfic in which:
0. Yuki kills Assakura as usual.
1. Kyon thinks Yuki is haxing around too much, even if it saved him.
2. Yuki restores Assakura from backup with minor changes in permissions.
3. Assakura tries killing Kyon but can't because of not having permission to harm Kyon.
4. Ludicrous discussion tiem. Assakura concludes that even if Kyon killed or raped her, she couldn't do anything about it.
5. Kyon rapes Assakura, Assakura enjoys it and hates Yuki for the hax.
6. Haruhi catches Kyon tenderly raping Assakura, now in a comatose state of perpetual orgasm.
7. Data explosion ensues.
9. The aliens offer Assakura to Kyon as a token of gratitude. Kyon isn't amused.
10. The aliens make Assakura a normal woman without hax capability, programming or whatnot. She promptly bitchslaps Kyon and they then get married, have children and live happily ever after.