Hiya tae a' ye Blood-sookin' Numpties
Mah name is Alexander Anderson, an' ah hae every wan e ye. A' o ye are peely-wally, glaekit, nae-life bawbags wha spend a' their time on sully shite. Ye make me boak. Ah mean come oan, since ye arnae Ghouls dis tha' mean ye've never shagged a burd? Ah mean, ah guess it's fun slaggin' fowk kis ae yer aen insecurities, but you a' take it tae a whole new level. Yer a' fullae pish.
Dinnae be a shitebag. Gies yer best shot. I'm a jammy bastard. Tidy bod, ahm chuffed wi' mah hair, minted at batterin', an' ah have a technique developed by ma pals tae pagger the likes o' ye. Whit hings kin you dae, other than "latchin' ontae foak like a Weegie oan welfare"? Ah also git tae oppress pagans, an' a've goat a bunch ae tidy wee lassies am shaggin' right noo (they jist sooked mah dokey; wis braw). Ye a' are fannies wha' should jus oaf yersels fer gid. Noo git tae fuck.
Pic Related: It's me fuckin' that auld cow fae ower the street