I'm a geeky kid who lost interest. I don't have any real problems on the outside. I live in a nice house, have a loving mom, drive a car, have a job, make decent grades etc. I never had anyone close to me. My parents have been divorced since I was born. I feel like my parents betrayed me when they got remarried (cruel / bitchy step parents who simple didn't care about me) so I can't trust them. My older brother was the only one who I felt had potential to trust, but since he left for college, I find myself sitting alone every night, crying myself to sleep because I am so alone.
I figure if I can't ever find someone to trust in, someone to love and just give up all this pent up emotion to, I will snap. I'm not bad looking, but when ever I'm in a situation where I have the power to start / advance a relationship with a girl, I am overcome with an irrational fear of the future. In a split second, I feel the pain of being dumped or abandoned, so I shift myself to remain cold to said girl.
I have a few friends who like gaming, anime, etc. I'm sure they like games for their competitive qualities or other light hearted reasons, but I constantly devote my time to games because if I ever leave myself alone, my thoughts always drift to my extreme loneliness.