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Paint speckled the floor as Clovis worked his hand furiously between his legs. The painting had long been ruined, but he hadn't been pleased with it anyway--it was the act of creating art that he found so erotic, anyway. The cool thickness of the paint, tracing gentle slopes...he nearly choked as he thought about it.

It wasn't enough. He hunched over, pumping furiously, when he noticed one of his larger paintbrushes.

His breathing slowed as he mused aloud. "It almost looks like a man's..."

He stopped.

The next day, Britannian Art Supplies found itself delivering the largest order of painting goods it had ever sold, straight to the royal palace.