Ok then here it goes.
Step 1: Find a person to assist you in this endeavor.
Step 2: You remove your clothing (the assistant may remain dressed)
Step 3: Smother your body with the yogurt.
Step 4: You and your assistant use the tire irons to smash open the medicine cabinet.
Step 5: Instruct your assistant to play the TMNT tape on a nearby television.
Step 6: Eat all the medicine in said cabinet.
The resulting sensation is how it feels to hug a breast.
Don't forget to have your partner take photographs.