>>12581042>I was with him into he said "weed". Sage for stoner shit.
Hilariously enough, I'm not a stoner. I go weeks between even using it at all. The most frequent use I've ever seen was a period of about one week where I'd smoke two bowls a day split between three people spaced out over hours after work.
The first time I smoked, a friend brought it over and suggested I try it out cause I hadn't yet. I was initially quite nervous but then decided to just try it. I puked all over the place and got immensely paranoid that I was going to be stuck inside my own head for the rest of my life. I swore I'd never do it again, but my curiosity got the better of me and after I moved in with one of my coworkers I got the opportunity to ease myself into it and learned that it wasn't going to bring about the complete destruction of my psyche if I used it in the correct way.
All this time I hadn't smoked ever by myself, and had never smoked an entire bowl -- I was always with people. But one day he smoked me up, gave me about a dime, and then left the house for the evening.
After about a half an hour of just sitting there I decided to smoke an entire bowl to my face, which I'd never done before.
And shortly thereafter, I had a religoius experience. I saw infinite points of light leading towards the horizon in my confines of my kitchen. And then I projected my low self-esteem into a corner of the room and paced around with an enormous grin on my face, beating the fuck out of it verbally as I affirmed my own self-worth and began the still-continuing process of casting off self-doubt.
I've been doing a lot of thinking and researching various philosophical subjects as well as the nature of consciousness as it relates to thought patterns and religion ever since then, and it's actually been helping me out a lot. I've been using it as basically an occasional tool to help reinforce new behavioral systems I've been developing for myself in order to fix some issues that I have, like responsibility and self-identity and interpersonal dealings, which historically I'd always been weak on.
Also I'm using it to help me learn how to meditate, since I have a mental disorder which keeps me from being able to shut my mind down. I'm always thinking, always analyzing, always judging everything on literal terms. I think too much with my head and not enough with my body. I'm getting better at it recently, and once I start hitting a plateau I'll start smoking again and just keep building upon it.
My eventual goal is enlightenment.