Well take this bag, for example. The design and size is basic but effective for any modern woman. The recycled-material design will catch the eyes of any discerning tree-hugger. And look at these keys for example...these...keys...the keys......THESE FUCKING KEYS.
I mean, look at these fucking keys on this fucking bag, shit, if you had this motherfucker handy you could F5 faster than Lewis Hamilton chasing a fucking lorry varrying a shitload of watermelons. Jesus. And the fucking colour, is that some classic not-quite-beige, not-quite-grey or what? Geeks and nerdfags'd be coming up to you and saying shit like "OMFG WTF THT ISNT EVN QWURTI LOLOOL" and you'd be "XNK, shithead. TAKE IT SLAVE." And they'd be destroyed by the sheer FASHIONFUCKING power of the keybag.
These fucking keys.