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This thread is about quick, sarcastic reviews.

The Vision of Escaflowne - A high school girl finds herself transported to a mystical fantasy world, where she becomes involved with approximately four bazillion private storylines. Also there’s a mecha called Escaflowne that’s important somehow, but not really.

Samurai Champoo - Two stylized swordman in a weirdass version of feudal Japan agree to help a girl find a samurai “who smells of sunflowers”. Everything else ensues.

Blue Gender - A man wakes up to find humanity nearly wiped out by a horde of incredibly badly designed monsters.

Neon Genesis Evangelion - A daddy’s boy with a fetish for the comatose is recruited to fight “angels” after a disaster lays waste to the world. Vague religious symbolism and bizarre creature designs distract from his whining.

Akira – Two punks in a post-war Tokyo yell each other’s names for two hours. One of them turns into something really gross in the end. Also, crazy grey-skinned kids.