!lDZfmmdTWM No.11507210 ViewReplyOriginalReport
Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to announce that the United States Military's investigation into Lolicon and Loli Hentai on the Internet has come to an end. The conclusion made by military investigators and independent scientists is that Lolicon and Loli Hentai simply do not exist.

Out of all of the reports of Lolicon sightings collected by this investigaton, over 90% could be explained as misidentification. Many of those who claimed to have seen Lolicon had in fact seen swamp gas, weather balloons, military craft, or other such mundane sources. The remaining 'unexplained' sightings do not give strong enough evidence to suggest that Lolicon exists.

It is the conclusion of the United States Government that Lolicon and Loli Hentai are simply figments of the imagination made greater by public hysteria and exaggeration by the media.

We would like to thank the public for their patience during this investigation.