You have no idea because you are a girl. You are comfortable in love because you don't have to extend any initiative. Relationships are a lot like a train, you get on at anywhere from 13-17 and you make gradual 'stops' (holding hands, kissing, hugging, fondling... to all out sex). If you never got in this 'train' and it left you behind so to speak, you're pretty shattered in terms of confidence.
As for an entire community being ronery, well, you're right, not all of /a/ is ronery. I'd wager most of us were though, simply because of the nature of the board. It takes a pretty ronery person to follow anime and manga to the extent we do, of course there are exceptions, but this is the general trend.