A fanfic for the evening

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It all started when our over-heralded star, Nanaya, woke up in a swamp. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling abnormally exasperated, Nanaya punched a live hand grenade, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Heart filled with earnest fortitude, he realized that his beloved penor was missing! Immediately he called his so-called buddy, Arcueid. Nanaya had known Arcueid for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. Arcueid was unique. She was charismatic though sometimes a little... abrasive. Nanaya called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Arcueid picked up to a very calm Nanaya. Arcueid calmly assured him that most legless puppies sigh before mating, yet spotted wolf hamsters usually flamboyantly sneeze *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Nanaya. Why was Arcueid trying to distract Nanaya? Because she had snuck out from Nanaya's with the penor only four days prior. It was a eccentric little penor...