Things that stuck out to me were.
Why are the swirls on the golem modeld in and not just a normal map? Its increasing your render time and many people will take it as a negative that you didnt do this.> But your topology isnt that bad
Dont show the pill gameplay, just show your models from the game. The pills make your stuff look worse.
Dont show that animation at the end unless you also made the rig for the character, which in that case also show the rig.
When you are showing off your models, just show off the models. You have your golem in a bacground and have a few passes dedicated to it. But your background isnt really anything at all. Just put him on the scene and do the golem passes or just put the gollem on a infinate background and light him there.
Whatever you do, try to keep your characters displayed in a similar fassion.
Ex. If you do this for one do it for all
Show model in a 360 turnaround ( grey )with wire frame
Add all the texture and post effect passes for another 360.
Keep the scene and camea as close as possible from model to model